Happy Valentines Day

This year, Matt and I stepped away from our 5 year tradition of hosting a Valentine's dinner at our home, and took half the day for just us! We needed it, and we had fun, and I can't wait until we can do it again. We went shopping. I helped Matt liven up his closet and he approved items I had been eyeing :) I love being married to a man who likes to shop! In the evening we went to dinner and following we went to an after dinner cocktails and dance party that some friends were hosting in their banquet hall.

While all of that was fun, Valentine's Day took on a slightly different meaning for me this year. For the last several weeks Matt and I have been having conversations about our marriage, making sure we are on the same page, where do we need work, and what are our dreams and desires. Now I must say much of these conversations were prompted by our pastor Pete Briscoe, through his mini-series on marriage. Here is the link for you to take a closer look. So how really was this Valentine's Day different from the rest? It was all in my choice of thinking and attitude. I chose to be grateful. Grateful for my marriage and grateful for the man God put in my life. Not that I am not often grateful of these two things, but it was where I put my focus on this day.

Now I am happy to say that Pete's messages did not revolutionize our marriage. Yes I did say I am happy about that. Here is why: The topics Pete spoke on, have been values we have held in our marriage from the beginning. But it was great to be affirmed in our thinking and to be reminded that marriage is constant work and surrender.

Ephesians 5: 18-33 is where we have been for the last 4 weeks.

1. True love and oneness can only be obtained if you are fully surrendered and filled with the Holy Spirit.

2. #1 leads to submission to each other. We put each other first out of respect for each other and out of Love for Christ who brought us together.

3. Paul talks directly to Men and then to Women in what this submission is suppose to look like. A Husband is suppose to lift his wife up and Christ lifts up the church and a woman is suppose to allow her husband to do so. My part has been a learning process over the years. Let me preface, Matt is not my boss, nor does he rule over me, and his decision is not the final say. We discuss and communicate with one another and we don't make decisions unless we are both on the same page about the topic. It is equal participation. What Paul did say, is that I am suppose to allow Matt to be my cheering section and my support. Pete's analogy was that of a male cheerleader hoisting up a female cheerleader above his head and holding her with one hand. This is vivid imagery for me. Matt is my cheering section. He supports anything I want to do. He encourages me to go beyond my expectations, and he desires to be my help and support in all areas of my life. I, on the other hand, like to be stubborn and independent, and I know over the years I have resisted Matt's support, especially when it comes to help. I'm learning and growing in this area, and I'm thankful that my husband hasn't given up on me :)

4. Great Sex! Yes Pete did a whole sermon on sex. And I agree wholeheartedly with the Great part and I wont indulge you any further :)

Two tips coming from Pete and us: Be willing to be Spirit filled and Talk! (and talk some more!)

I leave with this two images. One of the unity candle that you probably lit when you got married, or will light when you do get married. It represents the oneness of marriage. But it is so easy in life, especially during the valleys, to live together, yet apart. As if one or both of the candles on either side of the unity candle has been re-lit. I am committed to continually be filled with the Holy Spirit so that I can love my husband fully and to talk (I really don't have a problem in this area :) ), in hopes that Satan does not get a foothold here. Second, last night at the dance there was an older couple in their late 70s or maybe even early 80s who didn't care if they liked the music or not they were going to DANCE! They were adorable! They obviously had learned how to love each other well. As soon as I saw them, I told Matt that is going to be us someday, and I am committed to see to it that that happens :) Even if it means we have to take dance lessons...(hee hee)

Until next time...